What’s Your (one-on-one) Frequency?

Domain: Relationships - Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

I once had a leader tell me that he just started doing one-on-ones with his team.

"I love that!" I said. "How often are you doing them?"

"Annually, for now."

I reserved my judgment because it wasn't the time or place for unsolicited advice. But I did die a little inside.

Meeting with your team once a year is not a one-on-one. At best, it's a performance review.

That example is an extreme, but I've also heard leaders boast about semi-annual or quarterly one-on-ones. While they are better than nothing, those frequencies are simply not enough.

Today I'm going to cover why I recommend weekly one-on-ones in most circumstances.

What’s the point?

To understand why weekly one-on-ones are best, it's helpful to understand the purpose behind them.

There are a number of benefits to one-on-ones, but the primary purpose is building strong relationships with each individual on your team.

Building strong relationships leads to meaningful dynamics such as trust and psychological safety. Meeting with your team on a weekly basis helps accelerate the strengthening of that relationship.

Consider the alternatives. If you're holding monthly one-on-ones, it's going to take four times longer to build trust with your team. That means it also takes four times as long to repair trust when issues arise.

Individuals

Leaders who push-back on weekly one-on-ones often point to the fact that they see their team every day.

This mistakes the general dynamics of a team for the individual relationships from which it's formed. When you focus on the team as a whole, you lose sight of the individuals. As a result, relationships actually begin to deteriorate.

Generally "seeing" your team on the floor or in meetings is not the same as a dedicated time and space for giving them your undivided attention. By giving this attention to each individual on your team, you're strengthening the team dynamics in a powerful and sustainable way.

Development

A common and useful topic for one-on-ones is the employee's development. Again, it becomes difficult to create and maintain momentum towards personal growth when you are checking-in only once a month or even once a quarter.

During those frequencies, one or both parties often lose sight of where they left off. This removes any sense of urgency and stalls progress.

Meanwhile, the pair that are checking-in and making adjustments on a weekly basis remain more focused productive towards their development goals.

The case for bi-weekly

There is typically only one situation where I might recommend bi-weekly one-on-ones: If the manager has so many direct reports that they can't meet with each in a single week. I'm talking 20 or more individuals directly reporting to that leader. In those situations, it's fine to meet with each of them bi-weekly. You'll still be conducting one-on-ones on a weekly basis, you're just spreading them out across two weeks.

Even in those situations, I still think a weekly cadence is more effective. I've personally managed weekly one-on-ones with 23 reports. It may seem like a lot at first, but the value that it will eventually return actually makes things easier in the long-run.

Thank you for reading. My hope is always that you've found something helpful and easy to implement. If you have feedback, suggestions or questions, please reply to this email.

If you are interested in exploring one-on-one coaching to transform your leadership, email me at [email protected] and we’ll coordinate a free, one-hour discovery session.

This week’s action items:

1. Be clear with your team about the stated purpose of one-on-ones. Communicate this to each individual on your team within the next week.

2. Consider the strength of the relationship you have with each individual on your team, as opposed to the "team as a whole". Caan you name each of their strengths?

3. Take advantage of the weekly cadence to accelerate the growth of each individual.

4. If you have over 20 direct reports and are struggling to meet weekly, consider the bi-weekly option.

5. Bonus: See my guidance on structuring one-on-ones if you need more help.