No Sandwiches

Domain: Building Trust - Estimated reading time: 2 minutes

Is your team walking away from feedback conversations wondering what the true message was? That's a fairly common issue and consequence of the sandwich technique.

The sandwich technique often refers to a method for communicating where you "sandwich" negative feedback between two pieces of positive feedback.

I don't recommend doing this. This technique often serves the manager’s comfort more than the recipient’s growth—which misses the point of feedback entirely.

Today, I'll provide some insight on the consequences of this approach and wrap-up with an alternative method.

Insincere

When you sandwich negative feedback with positive, it can come across as insincere. This approach invites the question of whether you truly mean the positive things you said or if they were only designed to provide cover for the negative feedback.

Undermining

For the same reason, the sandwich technique undermines your feedback. Not just the negative feedback, but the positive too. We are wired to focus on problems and threats. Even if your positive feedback is sincere, the recipient is less likely to hear or fully appreciate it because they will focus on the negative.

Both positive and negative feedback should stand on their own. Doing so gives the necessary space and attention that they deserve and makes your message clear.

Obvious

Because this technique is overused, it can also be easy to spot. Studies show that employees prefer direct feedback and if they catch you trying to wrap the actual message in a nicer package, they are going to know what you're up to. Most people do not like to be managed in such a heavy-handed way.

What to do instead?

I usually recommend taking a direct approach when providing any feedback.

Contrary to popular belief, "direct" doesn't have to mean aggressive. It's very possible to provide direct feedback that is respectful, constructive, and clearly intended to help.

I'll cover in-depth strategies for providing feedback in future posts, because there are just so many. For now, a great tip for being both direct and respectful is simply opening with the fact that you have some feedback on the related topic and giving them some say in whether they're ready to talk about. This might sound like…

"I have some feedback on how you handled that client meeting. Is now a good time?"

"I'd like to provide some feedback on how project X is coming. Would you like to discuss that now?"

Thank you for reading. My hope is always that you've found something helpful and easy to implement. If you have feedback, suggestions or questions, please email them to [email protected] 

This week’s action items:

1. Think about whether you make it a regular practice to use the sandwich technique. How is your team responding?

2. Consider delivering both positive and negative feedback separately and independent from one another.

3. If this is hard for you, try the approach of 1) sharing that you have feedback and 2) asking for permission to discuss it in that moment.