Feedback to Argumentative Employees

Domain: Managing Others - Estimated reading time: 2 minutes

Delivering negative feedback to an employee can be intimidating on a good day. Providing the same feedback or corrective action to a difficult or argumentative employee is even more of a daunting a task.

As a result, many of these conversations simply don't happen because the manager places their desire for comfort over the needs of the organization. An unchecked performance or behavior issue only grows and the longer it's avoided the more it will impact not just the individual but the team as a whole.

Here are just a few way to approach providing feedback or corrective action to a challenging employee…

Stick to specifics

When someone is arguing with us, it's easy to get defensive. This typically leads to subjective judgments which only make things worse. When delivering feedback, stick to specific, observed behaviors as much as possible.

I recommend the Observation, Impact, Action model. You identify the observed behavior, explain the practical impact it is having and then ask the individual what they can do to change it. Here is an example of what that might look like along with an example of judgment based feedback we want to avoid…

• Judgement based: “You have a poor attitude and it needs to stop.”

• Observation, Impact, Action: “The way in which you criticized Steve in yesterday's team meeting was concerning. It was unproductive and undermined his authority. This tension distracts us from our core mission of serving customers. How do you think you could approach that differently going forward?”

Clear and concise

Tough conversations with argumentative people often go south because the leader gets pulled into debates or distractions. To avoid these traps, try to keep things as clear and concise as possible. Sticking to observed behaviors as we cover above will help you do just that. Don't overexplain your position.

The individual may start referencing things that others are doing. This is a distraction. Bring the conversation back to the individual in front of you and their behaviors. If they have concerns about others, they can come to you outside of this meeting.

Stay cool

To the extent that it's possible, try to stay calm during the conversation. Sometimes that can feel easier said than done but there are a few tricks that can help.

To start, allow yourself time to cool down if you are still hot about an incident that has just occurred. While timely feedback is always preferred, it's okay to give yourself a day or two so long as the incident did not threaten anybody's safety or wellness.

Gathering, preparing and sticking to the facts (covered above) can help reduce some of the anxiety you may be experiencing.

Breathing exercises just before the meeting are also a great way to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps you to relax.

Thank you for reading. My hope is always that you've found something helpful and easy to implement.

This week’s action items:

1. Identify the challenging employee with whom you've been avoiding a difficult conversation.

2. Prepare your "Observation, Impact, Action" statement for the observed behavior.

3. Check-in with yourself. Are you calm enough to deliver this message professionally?

4. Once the conversation starts, be prepared to bring the discussion back on topic if they start bringing-up other issues.