Be the Calm in the Storm

Domain: Self Awareness - Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

Recall a time you were on a flight and you hit some serious turbulence. Everyone looked to the flight attendants to gauge their reaction. Those passengers were looking for steadiness. Flight attendants are the first level leaders for the passengers; you look to them when you start to get worried.

The same is true with you and your team. When things get hard, they are going to look to you to see how you are handling it.

Managing your emotions is a critical component of leadership. Who wants to follow someone who panics at the slightest unforeseen challenge? Conversely, who wants to follow a cold robot who refuses to acknowledge the humanity in us all?

Showing vulnerability and strength at the same time can be a challenging art.

The truth is you can't lead others until you can lead yourself. Today's leaders need to be self-aware. They need to manage difficult emotions; theirs and others. They need to intuit when to be vulnerable and when to show strength.

As leaders, we'll never master this. We'll always need to work on it because we live in an ever-changing world. With that said, here are some strategies that might help you focus on progress over perfection.

Find support

As leaders, we are also human. We also look to flight attendants in times of turbulence. Your team is not that resource for you. You need to find your own.

I'm not suggesting you can't be human or even show vulnerability at times. That's where the balance comes in. However; as the person who is ultimately responsible for their livelihood, it's unfair to ask that they be the ones to steady you. Consider how that would play out months down the line when you have to make a tough decision that impacts them.

Maybe it's your manager, maybe it's a peer. Maybe it's a coach or mentor. Find a person that you trust and can go to when you start to feel stressed, anxious or frustrated.

Take care

Speaking of stress, anxiety and frustration, what is your outlet for these things? Are you doing the basics to manage your stress? Work life balance is not something we should simply be endorsing to our teams. We need to lead by example and make sure we are taking care of ourselves.

To beat the plane analogy to death, we need to put our own oxygen mask on first. This means taking care of your physical, mental and emotional health both during and outside of work.

Check-in

As a leader, you hopefully have a decent sense of when your team is in a state of high-stress. Maybe there's rumors of layoffs. Maybe you're in the middle of an incredibly busy season. Or maybe it's just certain individuals dealing with specific personal issues.

Many leaders avoid addressing or acknowledging these things until they are forced to. Don't be that person. Be the leader that proactively checks-in to see how people are doing. This doesn't mean that they will openly share, but you've at least opened the door to the possibility.

Take the layoff rumor for example. In your next meeting, call-out the elephant in the room. Acknowledge the rumors and encourage a productive conversation about people's questions and concerns. Make sure to let them know they can also come to you individually if they don't feel comfortable sharing in that moment.

Thank you for reading. My hope is always that you've found something helpful and easy to implement. If you have feedback, suggestions or questions, please reply to this email.

If you are interested in exploring one-on-one coaching to transform your leadership, email me at [email protected] and we’ll coordinate a free, one-hour discovery session.

This week’s action items:

1. Find someone that doesn’t report to you that you can go to when you are feeling stressed or anxious.

2. Be intentional about managing your own stress.

3. Check-in with your team during times of high stress to understand how they are doing.